Category: Healing Therapies

We are unique and there are no magical solutions that work for every survivor’s healing journey. Fortunately there are many healing therapies worth trying. Any approach that truly helps with self-care is valuable. It may feel awkward and uncomfortable at times, but lean into it, the growth will happen.

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Embodied Self-Awareness Through EMDR Therapy

I spent a lifetime stuck in my head – thinking about, analyzing, and feeling distressed over my past and future. Trauma does this to our minds and bodies, leaving us unable to fully live in each moment. EMDR Therapy has given me my life back. With deep internal healing and embodied self-awareness, I can now welcome every emotion, feeling, and physical sensation. I never imagined this was possible – or knew what I was missing. Continue reading “Embodied Self-Awareness Through EMDR Therapy”

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Why Therapy Takes So Long (Part 2): We Minimize the Impact of Trauma

drowning but ok

I didn’t start therapy to process my trauma. I just wanted a peaceful marriage and not to feel like I was drowning in motherhood and, well…life! I didn’t even know my history could be labeled trauma. It sounded so dramatic! Clearly, my experiences were not worthy of such a heavy description. Continue reading “Why Therapy Takes So Long (Part 2): We Minimize the Impact of Trauma”

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The Physical Experience of Working Through Shame and Trauma in Therapy

woman's body

Our brains store the memories of our experiences, but so do our bodies. Processing the many layers of trauma that remained stuck in my mind and body has been a uniquely physical experience, different from anyone else’s. While there is no right or wrong way to experience emotions or process shame and trauma, if you desire deeper healing, it is important to experience the physical qualities of your emotions. They are unique to you. Continue reading “The Physical Experience of Working Through Shame and Trauma in Therapy”

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My Deeper Layers Under the Violence of Trauma

If you have experienced childhood abuse or an abusive intimate relationship, it is hard to imagine that there can be any more painful layers under those invasive and often violent experiences. It took decades for me to gather the courage to face my sexual abuse and assault memories in therapy. I never expected to later uncover far deeper layers of pain, but this reality is present for many survivors of interpersonal trauma. These are such feelings as neglect, betrayal, and abandonment. It is the pain of knowing, even as a young child, that nobody cared to help you process your trauma…or to even prevent it in the first place. For me, this betrayal was the deepest layer under the violence of trauma. Continue reading “My Deeper Layers Under the Violence of Trauma”

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The Parts Inside Me

We all have parts of us, parts of our mind that formed in childhood…this is normal human development. We all know struggles like: “part of me wants to eat healthy and feel good, but part of me could care less and I’m going to devour this piece of cake right now!” However, when an individual’s nervous system remains overwhelmed due to trauma, these normal parts of our minds become fragmented. They begin to act in extreme ways with complicated and rigid strategies to move through life. The strategies of behavior become patterns that feel vital to our survival. Continue reading “The Parts Inside Me”

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Finding Compassion for Social Anxiety

I find myself frequently angry at my body for all the ways it’s still “broken” and even seems to functions separately from my brain. My struggle with social anxiety is a perfect example of this disconnect. Therapy has given me awareness of my internal chaos, and helped me calm this chaos, yet when I want to connect in groups I’m attacked out of nowhere with a racing heart, feeling lightheaded, and I can’t catch my breath. Panic and anxiety continue to disrupt my life in these situations. Continue reading “Finding Compassion for Social Anxiety”

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An Irony of Trauma: Hypervigilance with No Cues for Danger

red flag

One of the most common features of trauma survivors is that they lose the ability to sense danger. How ironic is it that trauma can leave you functioning in a state of constant hypervigilance, yet with no cues for when you are actually in danger? Most of us can think of someone that has fallen into horrible situations again and again. Despite having bodies that are constantly on edge, on high alert, and waiting to be hurt…when we are in the face of danger, we have no actual urge to leave or even an awareness of the risk. Understanding that a traumatized nervous system works this way feels alarming and unfair! Continue reading “An Irony of Trauma: Hypervigilance with No Cues for Danger”

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We Must Struggle

struggle is necessary

Oh the regrets I have! They are endless. But the biggest one of all is letting my ex know I was pregnant. If I had been brave enough, strong enough, smart enough to realize I could handle life on my own…Oh! How much better our lives would have been! It’s like a vortex my mind gets sucked into all too frequently. I play out the beautiful, peaceful life my baby girl and I would have created. And then I wrestle with God, questioning why we must struggle and endure such pain in this life. Continue reading “We Must Struggle”

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Being Honest With My Whole Story

being honest with my whole story

I guess I saw each of my difficult experiences as separate stories. When I began therapy, I felt it was best to leave out some of those stories because I was ashamed. I would tackle the biggest, hardest piece, the one that left me with PTSD – the domestic abuse in my first marriage. As I processed much of this, I began piecing together a much bigger picture I could not see before. The other stories are actually not separate at all. Each experience builds on a previous one. Each hard story impacts the next hard story. Learning how traumas become compounded helps me forgive myself and allows for healing to continue only by being honest with my WHOLE story. Continue reading “Being Honest With My Whole Story”

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Fear of Trauma Therapy

beginning trauma therapy

When my wise friend suggested I not only start therapy, but see someone who specializes in freaking trauma, I can’t describe the anxiety that began! She didn’t know much of my past…just the bare minimum that I could force out of my mouth with an incredible amount of effort and an even greater amount of shame! It took everything out of me, that vulnerable first conversation. I cringe imagining myself hashing it all out in therapy with a stranger – reliving it, feeling it. Plus I am pissed that she referred to my past as “trauma”! I never would have used that word! So I stayed pissed…and empty…and heartbroken…and crying for a solid week with a real fear of beginning trauma therapy. And then I finally caved and asked her, “Do you REALLY think my past can be called TRAUMA?” Continue reading “Fear of Trauma Therapy”

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Yoga for Trauma Healing

I am finally beginning to understand my body better – all the weird things I tried to hide from people because they did not make any sense before beginning trauma therapy. For example, I had no idea that it is not normal for my body to not physically feel things….for my brain to not know what my body is doing. I didn’t know that’s a trauma thing. A PTSD thing. Apparently that is part of my high pain tolerance too. My body is simply numb much of the time. In addition to therapy, yoga is helping me change this. Continue reading “Yoga for Trauma Healing”

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