bioenergetics - We All Have Shadows

April 20, 2023May 13, 2023

Finding Compassion for Social Anxiety

I find myself frequently angry at my body for all the ways it’s still “broken” and even seems to functions separately from my brain. My struggle with social anxiety is a perfect example of this disconnect. Therapy has given me awareness of my internal chaos, and helped me calm this chaos, yet when I want to connect in groups I’m attacked out of nowhere with a racing heart, feeling lightheaded, and I can’t catch my breath. Panic and anxiety continue to disrupt my life in these situations. Continue reading “Finding Compassion for Social Anxiety”

December 28, 2022December 29, 2022

An Irony of Trauma: Hypervigilance with No Cues for Danger

One of the most common features of trauma survivors is that they lose the ability to sense danger. How ironic is it that trauma can leave you functioning in a state of constant hypervigilance, yet with no cues for when you are actually in danger? Most of us can think of someone that has fallen into horrible situations again and again. Despite having bodies that are constantly on edge, on high alert, and waiting to be hurt…when we are in the face of danger, we have no actual urge to leave or even an awareness of the risk. Understanding that a traumatized nervous system works this way feels alarming and unfair! Continue reading “An Irony of Trauma: Hypervigilance with No Cues for Danger”

June 5, 2021June 5, 2021

Somatic Therapy Integrates My Emotion into Memories

In a session this week, my therapist asked me to go back to a horrible memory, one of abuse. I voiced it in a previous session and hoped I was done with it. Why can’t speaking traumatic memories be enough? In talk therapy, I would have been done and moved on. Voicing it the first time was unbearable and sent me spiraling into several weeks of depression. I have learned that speaking memories is never enough for me. I remain detached from memories; I have not integrated my emotion into them. Although I didn’t need to verbalize the details of this memory, still I had to be in it, to hurt for what it was…and recognize what parts of it caused me pain. Continue reading “Somatic Therapy Integrates My Emotion into Memories”