depression - We All Have Shadows

October 12, 2025January 3, 2026

My Rose Window: Order Admidst Depression’s Chaos

Because most of my years involved struggling with darkness and depression, NOT being in that state so much anymore feels like a striking difference. When I reflect on this change, the image of the Rose Window in Notre Dame’s Cathedral comes to my mind. The perfect order that the rose window symbolizes. When my own version of that beautiful window is within reach inside of me, when I can access it, touch it, this is when I feel at peace. This is when I have access to order. The overwhelming chaos that continues to exist in my body – it calms and feels tamed.

October 30, 2024October 31, 2024

Flashbacks – Hijacked by Body Memories

On Monday night I pushed through a difficult Pilates class, my heart racing from the exertion of my workout and fear of drawing my instructor’s attention if my form was off. This particular teacher challenged us in a way that often intimidated me. But to be fair, most people intimidate me. Continue reading “Flashbacks – Hijacked by Body Memories”

May 15, 2023May 25, 2023

Dancing with Complex-PTSD and the Darkness of its Depression

One of the worst realities of complex-PTSD (C-PTSD) is how it keeps your brain and body hostage. Even with years of therapy, gaining significant insight and awareness on the effects caused by my trauma, I don’t often feel free. There are moments I do – even whole days, and for that I am incredibly grateful. So grateful on those days that I can’t keep it to myself! I let everyone know how happy I am, wholeheartedly believing that my depression is over. Continue reading “Dancing with Complex-PTSD and the Darkness of its Depression”