a journal through trauma therapy and healing C-PTSD
I’ve worked through my rape memories in therapy, layer by layer, yet there was one detail of this ugly story I wanted to stay locked away, hidden in the dark because I could not stomach its truth: I returned to the man who raped me. The very next day I approached him sexually. How do I make sense of that? Continue reading “Returning For Sex to the Man Who Raped Me”
We all have parts of us, parts of our mind that formed in childhood…this is normal human development. We all know struggles like: “part of me wants to eat healthy and feel good, but part of me could care less and I’m going to devour this piece of cake right now!” However, when an individual’s nervous system remains overwhelmed due to trauma, these normal parts of our minds become fragmented. They begin to act in extreme ways with complicated and rigid strategies to move through life. The strategies of behavior become patterns that feel vital to our survival. Continue reading “The Parts Inside Me”
When you’re recovering from trauma, with years and years of secrecy, you have no idea the extent of untruths or false negative beliefs, you hold within yourself. I’m calling them that instead of lies because lies denote a choice. I never chose to believe so many negative things about myself. I didn’t choose to live my life according to these negative beliefs. But that is what happened. When your body does not feel there is enough support, enough safety, to experience and know the truth of your trauma, then your mind creates a gift to keep you surviving. It gives you a whole set of twisted and false negative beliefs to live by. Continue reading “Truths and Untruths: Irrational Beliefs Stored in the Body”